Monthly Archives: September 2016

Hard Core Truths About Parenting

Hard Core Truths About Parenting

When I was younger I though that parenting was the funnest, coolest and easiest thing to do. After all, I could take care of babies and make them stop crying and be happy. And once they get older you just hang out with them, right? Those thoughts were obviously before I had children. As I look back at my ignorance I laugh at myself. I am going to explain 3 hard core absolute truths about parenting.

1. It’s exhausting! And the reason why it is exhausting is because you will put the most effort into your children than you do any other thing. At the end of the day sometimes we are so exhausted we barely have enough energy to smile at one another. But the Time is now, the time is now that we instill everything that we have into our children so they become the rock stars that they are. By giving emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. By giving and giving your everything to your children it can wipe you out. On the other hand, it is the most rewarding position on planet earth. As parents, we are raising the next generation of people to take off in this world. What kind of people do you want to raise? Any parent would say that they want to raise respectable, honorable thriving children who will be adults one day.

2. As parents, we are the most influential people in our children’s lives. Whether you believe it or not, it is the truth. Our kids look to us as the rock stars, we can do no wrong in their eyes and we know everything (HA!). So when we speak to them in love and truth and teach them what we know and how to do things. That builds trust between the relationship. They will come to you with things such as questions about things they heard in school, what certain words mean, what we think about a situation, etc. When my oldest son comes to me with something he heard in school from so and so, he knows I will give him the honest truth (age appropriate). I have done it with him always and he continues to come to his parents time after time with what he wants to know. He knows his questions are valued. As that relationship grows, he will feel the safety to come to us as he gets older.

3. The REWARD and satisfaction that you receive when you see your children acting as you wish for them. When you tell them, “It’s time to go!” and they come running. I love overhearing or watching the kids when they don’t know I’m looking or listening. When I see them use teamwork to build that fort made out of the couch cushions and blanket. When I hear them talk as little adults to one another and work an argument out. We all have those days when we want to scratch them and start over or wish the day would just end already at 8 o’clock in the morning. But stay encouraged. The discipline and values that you are raising your kids will pay off. What you sow into them they will reap and call you blessed. When you sow love you will reap love. When you reap patience you will reap it. Whatever you may be giving out, it will come back to you in the actions of your children. I hope this was enlightening and encouraging to you.

All About Parenting

All About Parenting

1. All about discipline: According to my latest research, there are millions of books, pamphlets and articles on the subject of child discipline. There are lots of books and articles out there on this particular topic (discipline) with kinds of name, such as “Behavior Modification”, “Ways to Discipline a Child”, “All About Parenting” or some approach that says, “This Is the Best Way to Discipline Your Child”. That’s why this article is different from any other and I enthusiastically recommend it to every parent.

2. Understand what discipline is?: Understanding the true nature of discipline. I ask, what is discipline? Discipline is teaching, it’s the process of teaching that goes on all the time. When we discipline our child parenting, we are teaching them two things that I want you to understand well, (i) To avoid undesirable behavior and (ii) To use desirable behavior, these are the two things, and very few people see this clearly. Agree with me that discipline is teaching? Yes it is. I will this medium to tell you that in discipline it is wrong to use one approach to discipline a child or children. Remember “that your child or any other child is truly unique, born with combination of genes and a biological temperament different from those of any other child in your family, or indeed any child anywhere”. So, using one approach will not work at all time with a child or all children, you must have a tailor-made approach to fit the uniqueness of a child or any child. That’s the reason discipline is teaching.

3. What you should know on/about discipline: Firstly, it is important to take the age of the child into consideration or account, because has they grow their, character, thinking ability and every thing about them change or move up with their growth. Am sure, you do not teach desirable behavior to a two-year-old or three-year-old in the same way you teach an eight-year-old. Secondly, this is on you (the parent) feeling comfortable on the way you’re handling problems with your children. What I mean is, you must feel comfortable with the way you’re handling situation or problems when it comes to discipline or parenting a child or children. It must suit you.

Lastly, have explain this before, but I will put more light on it, this is for the parents who do feel comfortable with one approach when it comes to discipline. A word from an expert says “A particular approach works best when dealing with a specific situation”, but will it work when dealing with another situation entirely? Definitely not! You ask why?, okay, what will work for parent Smith might not work for parent Anderson, because of his own personality or the way his parent raised him and the discipline or approach that works on Peter might not work on Johnson, because of their genes and biological temperament.

So, I repeat “using one approach will not work at all time, when it comes to discipline”. I believe a new approach to discipline or parenting is needed, and this article will give it in the following ways. (i) This article will teach or show you kinds of approach to discipline and how to use these different strategies. (ii) How to discipline your child from infancy to adulthood and (iii) How to find the right strategy or approach that will suit you comfortably.

How to Save a Marriage When You Disagree About Parenting

How to Save a Marriage When You Disagree About Parenting

In many marriages the relationship in early years is more productive than after some years of marriage. Disagreement is a problem that can result in divorce if not properly handled. In any union, there are always strong points you see in the other person and their weak points. It is the duty of the couples to rise above their differences and make things work, by addressing those concerns. Perfection does not exist in marriage. The things that make marriage work are commitment, love, discipline, understanding, openness and communication.

When it comes to parenting, there are many versions couples use. Some couples want to raise their kids the way they were raised, while others want to raise them the way they expected to be raised by their parents. The bottom-line is that this is a learning experience and partners should learn together. This can only happen where honesty and openness exists. Sit down with one another and agree on the parenting model to be used.

There are deep parenting beliefs that exist among couples on how best to bring up their kids. Some believe discipline should take center stage, hence the need to exercise control over their kids. Other people believe in self regulation and experimentation.

The question to ask yourself is where do they get parenting beliefs? The major sources of parenting beliefs are influences from our parents, observations, media, religious messages and personal conclusions.

By the time someone grows into adulthood, they already have a view or belief about parenting. This is usually taken as the truth and the only one for that matter. It is why they have problems accepting other versions. When one gets married and they have kids, they start seeing the differing parenting beliefs they have. In such a case you need to sit down with your partner and develop a consensus. Disagreements like this can easily end a marriage if not well handled.

Ways of saving a marriage as from parenting disagreement

Parenting disagreements on how to bring up your kids does not have to be the reason to end your marriage. This is something that can be solved, the kids are yours together and you both have their best interests at heart. Therefore, fast action has to be taken to avert further disagreements. Acknowledge that the problems or disagreements you are experiencing will not end if they are not discussed and properly handled.

Openness

Being open with each other about your feelings on parenting is very important. Give your version and compare it with that of your partner. Discuss the upsides and downsides and reach a compromise. There are always things that you will agree on for instance the need for discipline, responsibility and honesty among other virtues. If you have new tips you want implemented, bring them up for discussion with your partner. However, do not be too rigid to accept your partner’s version. Not willing to listen may rob both of you an opportunity to resolve the situation amicably and save your marriage. When corrected or your partner presents a more agreeable version of parenting, do not take it personally like you are being overshadowed. The love you have for each other should guide your decisions always to keep the bond of marriage strong even with disagreements.

Give value to your beliefs

If you have a particular belief in parenting approach, present it to your partner. The two of you should discuss it. Help him/her see value in it, rather than making it the cause for arguments. Encourage honest and quiet contributions to the ideas without aggressively challenging your partner.

Liking each others perspective

This involves respecting their opinions. Clarify to them why you do not fully agree with their parenting belief. Find some things about their parenting belief that you share common ground on. Write them down and let them know about them.

Give each other encouragement. The bottom-line is that both of you want the best for your kids and will do your best to make it so. Therefore, encourage each other based on parenting beliefs. You can praise your partner to re-establish the warm connection you share. Do not make unilateral decisions without consulting with your partner, as that will demean them inappropriately.

What’s Most Important About Parenting

What’s Most Important About Parenting

I became a parent in 1993 when my daughter was born. Since then I became a parent two more times -once through adoption. My oldest child is just about to hit her teen years, so I have a lot of experience parenting children from the time they are born to the time they are teenagers. What follows are the most important things I learned about parenting since becoming a parent in 1993.

1) Cherish Every Moment With Your Children

I know this sounds like a cliche, but it’s the most important thing I can tell new parents. The time with your children goes so fast that it’s hard to describe. One day your kids want you to walk them into their classroom, and the next day they want you to drop them off a block away from the school so that their friends don’t see them coming to school with their parents. I’m very lucky that all my kids still love to do things with me. Being with them is the happiest times of my life.

2) Have Fun With You Kids

This relates to the first subject of enjoying your time with your children. The reason my kids love to do things with me is because I make it a point to do fun things with them whenever possible. Some of their favorite things to do are go to fairs and amusement parks, hiking, swimming, fishing, bowling, and going to shows. You can never get this time back. No parent ever woke up when the kids were out of the house and thought to themselves, “Gee… I sure am glad I worked late at the office all those nights instead of taking my kids miniture golfing!”

3) Be You Child’s Parent and Their Friend

Some child experts, notably John Rosemond, claim that you can’t be a parent and a friend to you children. I entirely disagree. For the most part I am my children’s closest friend, but I still never forget that my first job is to be their parent. What this means is that we have fun, but there’s still somebody in charge -me! My children not only love me and enjoy doing things with me, they also respect me because I’ve shown over the years that my top priority is doing what I can to guide them towards a successful and happy life.

Child Custody Questions About Parental

Child Custody Questions About Parental

Parental custody is the term used to describe the rights and responsibilities that parents have toward their children. It means that the parents provide for the physical, emotional, and mental needs of their children. When parents divorce, they need to figure out a way to continue providing the same level of care for the children while the parents aren’t together. Here are some common child custody questions about parental custody to help parents get started.

1. What parent should the child live with? This is the first custody question that the parents must address. There are many factors that should be taken into account to decide the answer. The parents should think about who the primary caregiver has been for the children, if either parent is staying in the house the children grew up in, if one of the parents has moved out of the school district or home town of the child, if there are relationships with step brothers and sisters that are important for the child to maintain, etc. Basically, the parents should try to keep consistency and stability in the child’s life. The child’s circumstances should be as close as possible to what they were before the parent’s separated. Depending on the children, they can live primarily with one parent and visit the other, or the parents can share joint custody and the children can have two households and live with both parents.

2. How do parents set up a custody and visitation schedule? The answer to this question involves thinking about many of the issues mentioned for the question above. Once the parents have decide where the children will live, they can come up with a schedule that outlines the custody and visitation. Again, this schedule is based on what the child needs to continue to develop relationships with both parents. There should be adequate visitation time for the non-custodial parent to bond with the child every week. The schedule should also take the child’s school and extra activities into account. If the parents have joint custody, they should split the time about evenly.

3. Where do the children spend the holidays? Part of the parental custody agreement is figuring out a holiday schedule. Typically, the parents divide up the holidays and switch them every year. It’s important to divide up the holidays equally and evenly–meaning both parents have the same number of big holidays. Parents can set this up however they want. Holidays can be divided in half so the parents can share, and they can also last a few days to allow for extra visitation.

4. Can the custody and visitation schedule change in the summer? If the child needs more consistency during the school year, but the parents want a joint custody arrangement, the time can be made up in the summer. One plan that deals with this is the Ackerman parenting plan. This is a schedule that divides up the time in a 9/5 split during the school year and a 10/4 split during the school year (the parents switch custody). You may find that coming up with a different schedule during the summer helps even out the time between the parents.

These are just some of the questions about parental custody. As parents work through their parenting plan and custody agreement they should seek out resources that can help them answer all of their questions. As they do this, they should be able to come up with an agreement that works for the children and both the parents.