Monthly Archives: November 2016

Learn All About Parenting Styles

Learn All About Parenting Styles

There exist four different parenting styles: the authoritarian style, the authoritative style, the permissive style as well as the uninvolved style. These styles have been discovered throughout the past decades and are still subjects of current research. A famous scientist, by the name of Diana Baumrind, in the field discovered the first thee styles. Her discoveries were later picked up and detailed research was conducted to discovered the last style known as the uninvolved style.

“Excellence parenting”

Diana Baumrind conducted an experiment on one hundred preschool-age children using naturalistic observation, parental interviews and many other research methods. She was able to define four major dimensions of parenting: disciplinary strategies, warmth and nurturance, communication styles and expectations of maturity and control. Her conclusion was that based on how children are raised different traits are more or less dominant in their figure. As previously mentioned, Diana was able to classify different parenting styles into three different ones: authoritarian parenting style, authoritative parenting style and the permissive parenting style.

The authoritarian parenting style enforces strict discipline on children; they must obey any command the parent gives without question otherwise punishment is given without reason. These parents will not tolerate their children misbehaving; as soon as something is not to their liking, they will simply punish the kids harshly. These children will grow up being very disciplined and will often succeed in life, however they will display poor social skills. According to Baumrind, these parents are obedience and status oriented; they expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation.

Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baumrind suggests that these parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative”.

Permissive adults, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents “are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation” (1991). Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

Questions To Ask About Parenting Skills

Questions To Ask About Parenting Skills

Common Questions

Here are some common questions that parenting experts get asked frequently.

Is “Because I Said So” Enough?

Parents may say, “No means no.” Or, “Because I said so, that’s why.” You’ve certainly heard other parents say these things, and you may even have said them yourself. Well, in part they’re true and should be enough of a reason for not doing something, but using these phrases really doesn’t teach your toddler anything.

Remember, you are attempting to teach the concept of appropriate behaviour.

A short, simple explanation is fine. Say “You cannot climb on the kitchen counter because you may fall onto the hard tiled floor.” If your toddler repeats “Why?” over and over again, answer the first couple of times with the very same explanation. If he is trying to get you to change your mind and your story, he’ll quickly realize it isn’t working. After that, refuse to answer his “whys” by ignoring him.

What’s Wrong with Bribing?

The problem with bargaining is that once you start it, your toddler expects you to bribe or bargain with him every time you want him to do something. The only time it really works is if your toddler is faced with something particularly uncomfortable, scary, or unpleasant. For example, if your toddler has a fear of the doctor and it’s time for his yearly checkup and vaccinations, it may be helpful to promise that something pleasant will follow.

You might say, “I know how much you dislike going to the doctor. But we have to go. Why don’t we plan on having ice cream afterward?” You are not making the reward contingent on good behaviour but on his going along with what needs to be done.

Will My Toddler Take Advantage of an Apology?

Apologizing for your own bad behaviour or mistakes is one of the best ways to model good behaviour and the acceptance of responsibility. You are not perfect, and neither is your toddler. If he makes a mistake and is told to say he’s sorry, why shouldn’t you be expected to do the same?

Is It Okay to Discipline Other People’s Kids?

Here’s a simple rule. If you are the only parent in charge (e.g., your toddler has a friend over), you have a responsibility to supervise them. If one child is harming another, step in and correct the misbehaving child. If the other parent is present, wait to let her take charge first. If she doesn’t, be diplomatic. You might say, “I see the kids getting into it; we’d better stop them.” Do not take sides and stay as neutral as possible.

All Things You Have to Know About Parenting

All Things You Have to Know About Parenting

If your children behave badly such as fighting, lying, stealing, lazy to do some homework, denied, or interrupted when the parents are called you would feel disappointed. That attitude which the child has done was perfectly natural course. But do not take it so long, you should take appropriate action. The problem is what are the appropriate action should we take? Here I will show you some techniques you have to know about parenting technique to change the bad behavior of your children.

In order to coping with the bad behavior is not easy. It needs more attention and seriousness of the parents. The first thing you can try is that make a clear instructions and giving the child a reason why you told him like that. For example when you prohibit them do not jump on the bed. Just try to give an explanation if they jump on the bed causes damaged and so on. That way; children will understand why you are prohibiting them like that.

Of course, your positive attitude means lots in the process of educating children. So that respects the child and provides support when a child needs your help are a must to be practiced. With such attitudes, the parents would see the child as a human being, who is learning, not as an obstacle.

When your child is too long to play and it was time to sleep, try to remind him five or ten minutes earlier. That way, your child knows that he had to stop playing. So that when the time actually comes, he will not argue with you because he has prepared himself to stop playing.

How to Save the Marriage When You Disagree About Parenting

How to Save the Marriage When You Disagree About Parenting

Many couples get along famously in their courtship and early marriage, but suddenly find themselves hitting a brick wall when a child is born. As it turns out they did have at least one area where there are major disagreements, and that’s in parenting. And it can be devastating.

All of us have very deep parenting beliefs about how children should be raised. For example, some believe that children need lots of discipline, control and discipline and others that children need to learn from experimentation and self-regulation.

Where Do Our Parenting Beliefs Come From?

We form our beliefs about parenting based on many influences, including the model of our parents, religious messages, observations of others, the media and our own private conclusions.

“The Truth” About Parenting and Children

By the time we are adults we have built a strong set of beliefs about parenting and children. It is usually so strong that it seems like The Truth, the one and only Truth. It just feels like the “natural way to think.”

Then Along Comes Mary, or Joe

Then along comes this person you love, and you can’t wait to have children. You just assume things will be great. That’s because you both know what “The Truth” is and how could someone have a different opinion, especially someone you love? Doesn’t always turn out like that!

When there’s major disagreement on parenting, it can cut the marriage apart very quickly and even permanently. It can feel like a total betrayal. Here is this person I agree with and love and now they have a different view on something so important as parenting?

How to Save the Marriage When You Disagree About Parenting

If you find yourself in the distressing and potentially marriage ending position of having fundamental disagreements about parenting your children, I have two things to say. First, it doesn’t have to be the end, and second you need to act fast and act now to head off further problems.

This problem will not go away by itself!

Four Steps to Save The Marriage

You must take four steps to save the marriage right now. I call those steps “LOVE,” which is an acronym. “L” is for like; “O” is for openness; “V” is for value; and “E” is for encourage.

Like

The first thing to do immediately is to learn how to like your partner’s parenting beliefs and actions.

You may not fully 100% agree with them, but you do need to find some things about them to genuinely like. Take out pencil and paper and write down 10 things you can honestly say you like about your partner’s parenting beliefs and style.

Make it real, not phony. This is the most important step!

Be Open

As hard as it might be to accept, you do not have “The Truth” about parenting or child rearing. You have some important views and much to offer, but what you believe is not the one and only Truth. If you insist on believing that, you and your partner are never going to see eye to eye, as long as he or she is true to what he or she believes is Truth.

Make a list of the parenting beliefs and actions (such as around discipline) that you are willing to be flexible about. List 10 things that you need to be willing to accept that your partner believes. This will go a long way to creating a positive agreement between you.

Give Value

If you really believe in your parenting approach, find ways to help your partner see the value. Don’t argue about what you do, just quietly and honestly contribute actions which show the value of your beliefs and that don’t aggressively challenge your partner.

What can you do that will help bring positive and valuable results in raising your children, but that won’t attack your partner? Make a list of 10 actions and then begin to gently but firmly try them out. Remember, they may or may not be helpful, so fall back to Step 2, Be Open.